Humans are complicated. As is often pointed out, we are the product of countless variables within the nurture and nature categories. How we understand ourselves, the world, and each other changes radically from person to person and over the span of time. It’s no wonder that when two people share their complexities, the relationship between them can become difficult to navigate.

Some people wonder if individual therapy is the right way to address relationship problems. The answer: it depends. However, it’s rare that your own therapy won’t benefit your relationship. We can explore questions around control, interpretation, communication, the impacts of your own upbringing, and questions of motivation. Your individual therapy can influence the relationship in ways that promote significant, positive change.

Family of Origin Impacts

When we’re young, we have one job: learn how to be a human. Our families provide the model that we use throughout our lifetime to interface with others. When things go right, this works really well. Our families-of-origin provide a blueprint that we follow for all sorts of relationships, particularly our romantic partners. Unfortunately, not all families are equipped to provide a healthy blueprint, leading to confusion, fear, anxiety, and disconnection.

In therapy, you can notice and examine the connections between present-day relationships and the significant relationships that informed your childhood self about how the world works. Becoming aware of these potent patterns is a powerful way to make significantly different choices in today’s relationships, allowing for a greater sense of security and freedom.

Parenting

Few tasks in life can feel as weighty as raising a child. Our next generation is our legacy. But, as it often noted, there is no training manual for being a parent. How can moms and dads know the best way to handle challenging conversations, address unhealthy or unacceptable choices, or help a child interface with a dangerous world? There are no cut-and-dry answers.

However, being intentional about parenting, gaining new understandings about the most critical needs of children at each stage of development, and working together as co-parents can go a very long way indeed. And, if your own childhood left you with emotional scars or a model of parenting you’d rather not duplicate, working through your own healing process can interrupt the cycle of generational trauma. All these areas are fertile ground for your own therapy and can lead to a healthier, happier, more secure child (and parent).