A Brief Introduction to Internal Family Systems (IFS)
When I was first introduced to Internal Family Systems (IFS), I was skeptical. The foundational concepts, terminology, and language felt somewhat hokey—not exactly my style. Yet something about it caught my attention enough to keep me learning: reading books, attending workshops, and seeking out experienced colleagues. As my understanding deepened and I gained experience using IFS with both clients and myself, its value became increasingly clear. I eventually started a consultation group where therapists could gather to develop their IFS skills together. But I recognize that getting started can be the most challenging part. So I’d like to offer a straightforward introduction to the core ideas behind IFS, hoping to help you move more quickly to its substance, where the real value lies.
First, let me emphasize that the specific language, terminology, and structure of IFS aren’t set in stone. IFS is inherently flexible. While practitioners often share a common vocabulary, you’re free to adapt the language if it doesn’t resonate with you. This flexibility also makes IFS compatible with other therapeutic approaches—it’s not an all-or-nothing framework.
Before diving in, I want to acknowledge Dick Schwartz, the therapist who developed IFS. For those interested in exploring further, I recommend his book No Bad Parts as an excellent starting point. What follows are the fundamental ideas of IFS as I’ve come to understand them through my own lens, recognizing that others may see things differently.
Parts
“Part of me wants to lose weight, but part of me wants to eat that slice of cake.” “Part of me is angry at him, but another part understands where he’s coming from.” “Part of me loves what I do for work, but another part hates going to the office.” We all have these internal parts, which reveal themselves in this sort of everyday language. IFS helps us understand these parts in new ways by viewing them as members of our inner, or “internal” family. Like any family, each member has relationships with all the others—sometimes harmonious, sometimes conflicting, sometimes antagonistic. Further, each member of any family tends to take on a role…the fixer, the peacemaker, the caregiver.
Just as in external families, tensions between parts can become problematic, leading to patterns of antagonism, disrespect, bullying, or manipulation. Parts can become trapped in roles filled with pain, blame, and doubt. One of IFS’s greatest strengths is its framework for identifying, organizing, and understanding our parts. Simply having a clearer picture of what’s happening in our internal conflicts can make them feel less overwhelming.
IFS encourages us to name our parts, describe how we perceive them, recognize their distinct voices, and create space for understanding them. A core principle is that every part has inherent value and purpose. These parts develop their roles through experiences over time, just like members of our external families. Each part learns how to function within the overall system, and because they’re aspects of ourselves, they deserve respect, dignity, and understanding.
While this article won’t delve into IFS’s detailed categorization of parts, it’s worth noting that most parts either protect us from something or carry pain on behalf of the whole system. Understanding parts through these roles helps us appreciate their purpose. Consider this analogy: imagine a family member whose sole responsibility is preventing house fires. They constantly monitor for danger, becoming alarmed whenever someone uses the stove. While their limited perspective might frustrate others trying to cook dinner, we can appreciate their protective intention.
In family therapy, when parents bring a “problem child” to sessions, therapists often find that the child isn’t the source of the problem but rather a scapegoat, carrying pain and blame for other family members. Similarly, in IFS, we work to help parts bearing emotional burdens. This can be challenging work, as other parts often actively protect us from facing that pain directly.
Self
The concept of “Self” in IFS, while not unique to this approach, is perhaps its most abstract element. I find it helpful to use the metaphor of an orchestra conductor—not just any conductor, but a masterful one with all the necessary skills, passion, and resources to lead effectively. They know the score, hold the vision, and embody the qualities of world-class leadership.
In IFS, we describe Self through eight essential qualities (the “8 C’s”): compassion, curiosity, clarity, creativity, calm, confidence, courage, and connectedness. When we experience energy characterized by these qualities, we’re in touch with Self; if, however, the energy isn’t compatible with the 8 C’s, we’re engaging with a part. Ideally, Self leads our internal system, though parts don’t always cooperate smoothly with this leadership.
Sometimes parts resist Self’s guidance, like musicians refusing to follow their conductor’s baton—playing off-tempo or trying to lead the ensemble themselves. Such resistance creates internal chaos and depletes our energy.
The Process
IFS work begins by identifying parts needing attention, then approaching them with Self’s qualities—particularly curiosity. We create space to understand each part individually: What do they see as their role? How are they trying to help? What challenges do they face? What support do they need? How do they think other parts perceive them? Sometimes parts welcome this new way of being seen; sometimes they find it threatening. That’s normal.
As we engage each part with genuine curiosity and compassion, we begin to appreciate their intended value, even when their methods cause problems. Through this process, our internal organization gradually transforms into collaboration. Parts develop broader perspectives, distinguishing between their protective intentions and their potentially problematic strategies. Parts carrying pain can receive direct help rather than just protection or sequestration.
This process is necessarily complex because we are complex beings. But by applying Self’s qualities, our internal family can evolve into a harmonious system where members appreciate each other’s roles and communicate respectfully about their needs and desires. As tensions unwind, energy previously spent on internal conflicts becomes available for building a more fulfilling life.
Takeaway
For many practitioners, viewing inner experience through the IFS lens becomes second nature, often extending to understanding others’ behaviors as well. As we strengthen our curiosity and compassion, we can maintain empathy even in challenging interactions (“I wonder what part of them prompted that hurtful comment?” or “What pain might they be protecting themselves from?”). As we release long-held internal tensions, we often find our external relationships improving too.
I hope this introduction illuminates why so many people find IFS valuable both in and outside of therapy. Whether you view it as a therapeutic approach or a broader philosophy, I encourage you to continue learning, stay curious, and engage with your most vocal parts compassionately. The music your internal orchestra can create with Self as conductor is truly beautiful!