Sympathy vs. Empathy—Poison vs. Salve
When a loved one is hurting, there’s an enormous difference between these two responses: “You poor thing!” and “I’m by your side while you’re going through this pain.” The first reaction, sympathy, serves to isolate and cast the person as a victim as well as minimizes their capacity to survive and thrive beyond the present challenge. Sympathy emphasizes the distance between you by looking down.
The second reaction, empathy, emphasizes connection (a valuable resource) and suggests resilience and growth on the other side. The first reaction is tantamount to rubbing salt in a wound. The second is a healing ointment which can’t take away the pain but does offer comfort in a time of need.